Two weeks to go

It will be difficult to remember the intensity of these last few weeks and indeed the coming 14 days. each day consists of many different tasks finishing at midnight either screen-printing, doing risk assessments, making lists. Sal and I walk against the tide to Stew on a Friday night, dressed for cold and dirt, ready for the business of book building. The previous two weeks were full of panic attacks, waking up with your heart thumping with a list of things not done, not even considered. Sal has been prescribed a paper bag to breathe into to calm herself down, by the doctor. I spend a lot of time talking myself down and being kind to my brain and accepting kindness from others, my friends and colleagues have shown support and willingness to help that has been beyond what I thought possible. Ask, it's worth it, it takes you into a realm of interaction that is great. Is this enjoyable? Well, it is uncomfortable. I have moments of rising fear, but also excitement. I want this to be brilliant, to make others feel something. To be able to put on an other-worldly show.... to invite folk in and play sounds that will make their heads feel something good/scared/thrilled/ step out of yourself be somewhere else, even though you are close to home. escape only really happens in your head. Therefore the potential for escape is always.