Vocal fitness

Was just pondering on how all us singers at KlangHaus kept vocally fit throughout the 46 shows. I think it was mainly to do with concentrating on not being stressed. Concentrating on not being tense. Most vocal damage comes through tightening of muscles, especially in the neck and shoulders. Tension is the biggest enemy and the mind passing negative thoughts to the muscles. I made sure I had a good picture in my mind of each show. I banished ideas of lucky routines or totems of good and bad luck apart from one. I was nervous of falling down the ladder which we climbed to end the show, I had nightmares which involved me falling down the ladder in every way possible. My luck routine came as a song which I sang as Mark me and Sal descended safely, called 'Nice and safe'. I can recommend your own version in times of duress, it works!

Creative producing....

Went to a conference yesterday at Tate Britain called 'Sound, music ,visual: producing the interdisciplinary.' There was a discussion about what a creative producer is: Michael Morris of Art Angel chatted with Jem Finer ex-Pogues and creator of Longplayer, a piece of music that will run for 1000 years. Okay here is what a good producer is/does: is in harmony with the artist, has empathy with the work, knows when to hold back and when to push, the producer makes the framework of enabling, is the bridge between artist and audience, both producer and artist must trust each other and have a shared belief in the work. We heard producers talk and we heard artists who produce themselves talk. The self-producing artists were bundles of exciting chaos, but seemed like they could have done with a calm pair of hands to help them make good relationships with the major organisations they where commissioned by; the producers where much more measured and calm. Personally I would like to work with a producer and concentrate more on being an artist and less on risk assessments and insurance policies, I can be involved, just not responsible for sorting. I like being part of a team and obviously choosing the right producer is the key. In Edinburgh, the producer-role was vital and we are indebited to Ros Coleman, Alix Lingford and Pasco who shared parts of that role. The corner of the conference that was reaaalllly annoying was the 'Interdisciplinary'bit. I have had so many years of feeling at my wits end as to why working in different disciplines is ever questioned/labelled......it's art for goodness sake, the idea predicts the medium, the necessary materials the outcome...aaaa stop struggling to pigeon-hole it, is it music or art? it's both, it's neither, it's an art and music show.... How on earth did Leonardo Da Vinci cope!

It wont be long...til we've sung our song..

I'm in the final days of the Edinburgh bubble..it has been a total dream....nearly all good. I am exhausted... officially! we did three shows today...4pm, 6pm and a late one at 9pm... it was full to bursting... and we finally managed to serve hot rum! It's bloody cold enough up here! We have been doing feed back sessions... I'll tell you more about them in another post... but I was the victim today and boy it's good! You basically get told by everyone in the group the details and specifics of why they like you. Now I imagined that it would be more of a 'I like this, but I get really annoyed when you do this..' but no, it's just the positive bits... and do you know what... the negative bits either melt away, or they are easier to start a conversation about.... it's a bit magic! The shows today where great fun, bursting with life and love. This month really has been the best in my life so far! we went to an awards ceremony and collected an award from the publication Three Weeks, for...Doing exactly what we set out to do...reinvent the live gig. Ta-Da!!! Every day has been exciting. We met a man from Artangel who thought I was 'beguiling'!!! WAAAAAAA! I'm now going to sleep.xx photo: David P Scott

Between show 29 and 30 Klanghaus Edinburgh

What is it like to sing 29 shows over 16 days... I love it... Voice in good shape, the main mistake I make is taking in too much breath for the job ahead... So I have to concentrate on not taking in a massive breath during Mother's Mother Tongue.. as I tend to leap around at the same time. Another challenge is singing into a mic during a quiet song and not making explosive 'p' and 'b' sounds.... Trying to make the consenant without the usual air exhalation requires concentration which is all part of not getting bored.... So number 30 klanghaus here we come!

Edinburgh day 15 I think

KlangHaus (@thebutcherof) 06/08/2014 13:29 “@nick_i_williams: @matttrueman thanks for the tip on @thebutcherof #klanghaus! Totally amazing!” maddy costa (@maddydeliqette) 07/08/2014 18:57 Klanghaus at Summerhall. Fucking hell. Music does theatre does video art & comes up with sheer bliss. Just finished&want to see it again NOW Two great tweets and three four star reviews... We are having a ball. I'm going to stop now coz blogging from my phone is an unpleasant experience.

Day off 4 star review

Gorgeous day... no need for an early rise and we have a four star review that is articulate... we really moved into the space today, filled cupboards marked 'surgical blues' and autopsy greens...cleaned up and played with projectors.

Saturday and shows 3 and 4 burst with energy... we are now receiving feedback from our audience...... when do we applaud? we want to stay longer, tell us where to wander we don't want to miss anything. Anthony Roberts also known to the Escalator East to Edinburgh team as, 'Our Glorious Leader' came to show 4 with Josh Hepple our disability advisor ( two tough cookies when it comes to reviews ) and 20 audience... this was a challenge, we wanted to get it right.... As we launched into Mother's Mother Tongue, I saw the delight on both Ant and Josh's faces.... they were right in the middle of a gig without being on stage... we sang in their faces, in their ears, we blasted the whole audience, ran about being loons and then lullabied them to the outside world again. Anthony and Josh both smiled and said they had never seen anything like it before. Ant also added that he hoped we would win some awards......

Edinburgh Day 5 ( out of order with previous post!)

We are here, we are in it. It is exciting, tiring, exhilerating, tense, time goes quickly. Moving as a group of 6 or 7 takes forever. Days slip by. The technicians at Summerhall are amazing, friendly helpful, say yes to pretty much any request... can we climb into the loft... I don't see why not, we've blown the power, can you help us, of course. Our house is great. We eat late and I don't wake wanting breakfast. More soon. Nice preview...

Show Day 1 Edinburgh under our belts

It feels an immense relief to be live. Two shows under our belt. They feel like the bare bones of what the show will become, but that's what previews are all about, so we are told... Phew! Audience reactions good, people very moved. Also affected by the essence of death that has been the history of the place... We've kind of got used to that and need to re- connect and be sensitive to it. The oblivious Butchers we are!! One comment, 'what a thrill to be close up to such great musicians'. Why thank you ma'am!

Two nights one days before I go

I'm sharper. Tell me a date in August and I'll tell you what day it is. I'm on it. I'm not infallible and my biggest fear is to forget to do something, forget to attend to a piece of equipment, miss a link in the chain and for a hole to appear. We are all doing our best and that is all we can hope for. The adrenalin is a flowing.I think I have a better understanding of stage lights, the difference between 16 amp and 15 amp, what they need to plug into and and what converters they need, nothing like being pushed into understanding something to make it happen. Today I put out a fire with my bar colleagues, we were training with the fire brigade... great fun and quietly traumatic... knowing the dangers in sharp focus of taking people into confined dark spaces... reality check Reilly, come back. I'm having CD covers screen printed, window images cut and couriered, screens, poles, black-out, data projectors begged and borrowed, insurances finalised. Mark is whizzing around London collecting slide projectors and lights, Bill Vine is sorting the surround sound computer mechanics, Jon is making the sounds of the universe in reverse, dogs running along corridors and falling diamonds ,Sal is making films, cutting slides, gathering artwork, sewing screens in our clothes... we are a team, we are KlangHaus, we are one. ( and we still like each other at the moment!)

Antidote to panic

When I get anxious, I sing and I breath. I count how long I can hold a note for. Today it's 32 seconds. I'm practicing singing and diaphragm exercises, core strength, support n all that... it seems to be the perfect antidote to panic. I can sing line upon line of song and that's a thrill. Am battling with writing new songs.. just gotta go with it...maybe I'll go here..

Doing it.

I'm in training vocally and it's my favourite thing. Diaphragm, that great bit of muscle between yer lungs and yer guts... that's my focus. building up strength to hold notes, have breath control. core strength. The great upshot is that I can carry barrels at work much easier, ha ha. I'm doing Alexander Technique, which is about relaxing your muscles and moving /standing/doing anything with ease and not being a knotted anxious mess of muscle. The way I like to explain a fraction of Alexander Technique is that within our muscles are the large veins carrying blood around the body.If we hold those muscles in a state of tension, all tight, the blood flow is restricted, so that's how I make a tiny bit of sense of what it is and why I like it! A.T also helps me sing in tune... which is good for everyone! As a singer my biggest enemy to making a quality sound, a sound that has texture and depth, which is how we convey meaning/emotion, is tension and anxiety. I know I can sing, but if I am anxious then everything tightens up, stiff jaw, squashed back of neck, dry mouth....boring sound....yawn.... I'm sounding a teachery..apologies...I'm writing this so I remember what I'm doing not to tell anyone else what to do... we make sense of stuff as individuals...happy singing y'all.

Getting on with it

So when the panic creeps in, a new voice takes command. Not the stir the pot, put the logs on the fire of panic voice, but a calm one that says just get on with it. If you are gonna climb a mountain you literally need to put one foot in front of the other and move forwards. All I can do with taking a show to Edinburgh is do each practical task that needs doing, do singing training and make up tunes. It is that simple. Panic does not motive, it distracts and zaps energy. As a team, we can only do our best, as individuals we can only do our best. This is my talk to myself this morning.

Klanghaus Midnight Feast

KlangHaus Midnight Feast was a triumph. We made an impact. Filling the place with sound. “a glorious bombardment of the senses, the effect was 360 degree immersion, captivation – theatrical, visual, dramatic and visceral.” norwichblog.com With speakers running along the sides of the room as well as the traditional full frontals we surrounded the audience with sounds, directed sound. Thanks to all the people who helped and photographed and encouraged. It was invaluable doing this, it has informed our thinkings and planning for Edinburgh. Sonic Graffiti is an idea that landed in Mark's brain as we were compiling sounds.... noises, hidden, around a city, around a building..

Show Day

Just to capture show day thoughts... feeling quite calm. There never seems to be a point were all prep is done. I have spent many evenings this week, cleaning candle holders,folding merchandise, learning lyrics, loading sounds onto CDs, planning, making lists is it just one of those things that expands to fill the amount of time you have? The most enjoyable thing in the whole process has been the singing. Just doing it loads, being in the whole world of sound. That's what we want to share with people tonight. Sound. Listening. Listening without distraction. cut the umbilical cord to your mobile phone, look up from your electronic devise and listen...

black photos.

A package arrived in the post. My slide film I took in Edinburgh last trip. I ripped the cardboard open, there is the film strip, all folded neatly. I can remember some of the shots but I'm looking forward to re-remembering all the shots I have no memory of taking. The many hued green corridors, the white operating theatre.I took lots of double shots 20cm apart on a horizontal plain to make stereoscopic images. Okay, need to be prepared for some of them to be rubbish, blurred, too dark. No, I unfold the film to reveal... nothing... black film, nothing to be seen but black film. All those photos I took, don't exist, they are a mere memory, a possibility, but only in my mind's eye. Photos that were dead before they hit the light or was it too much light? film fault? camera fault? lens fault? my fault. I finished the film off with lots of photos of my sun filled house in early March. Black film. black photos. I had less emotion than a film full of half good photos, I suppose because that would have deemed me a bad photographer. I put the film in the bin and said, "oh well," did a small calculation on how much I had spent and walked away.

2 x 40 mins

So, we are gonna be doing two 40 minute shows everyday in Edinburgh expect Mondays. To mirror this and feel a tiny bit of what that might feel like, I am going to sing twice daily for a solid 40 mins. It would be really good if I could build to the point whereby I was doing that at 4pm and 6pm. It would be like conditioning, setting the body clock. It would also be useful if I could think about bringing anxiety levels down prior to these sessions. I wont be anxious here, but knowing my tendency to get stressy, I want to help my brain find ways of not knee-jerking into old habits of panic. I also turn into a bastard just before a gig... my personal step into diva-ism...it aint pretty! It's induced by panic of, 'is everything in place'... it's not about, self doubt, I can't do it, it's just about having everything in good working order. I don't mind mistakes, but equipment failure rattles me... but a good healthy reminder of it doesn't actually matter, we will communicate and do the best we can, even if all instruments and lights fail, we can still sing and tell stories. I'll report back on how I'm doing.

Singing

I'm learning 12 newly commissioned Benjamin Britten inspired songs for kids, for recordings. I'm learning new songs for a choir I'm in and I'm starting to write new songs for our Edinburgh show. Singing is my favourite thing. I like the place I travel to whilst singing. I like the imagination of it. The emotion, the humour, the intangible wealth of wonder, the release.... I salute the noise, the listening, the moving of air on ear drum.

Motor Cortex

The motor cortex of the brain, receiving new learnt behavior. Music practice. Small practice Let it go in slow, but permanently. Slow practice. Feel fingers on string, one chord 40 times. Again 40 times later that day. Next day a different chord. Learn a song. A tiny bit. Next day a different bit. Daily slow practice. Metronome. Slow. Notice everything. Increase by one beat per minute. Slow practice, make it stay.

Got it!

Another leap lept. We have some funding. Half way there. We will go to Edinburgh!

No microphone for the listeners

The Words and Women gig was a bit of a personal triumph for me. A hurdle jumped. The room was packed but I managed to be heard... Whilst waiting to sing I was trying to assess whether I would be audible. 80 people? Everyone in swathes of fabric, absorbing the sound. A plan, sing one song and ask if I can be heard... easy! Then my heart races. I demand it to stop..... nope. Heart races, breathing gets shallow... grrr, stop it! The great advantage of no microphone to hold, is that no one can see the mic shaking in my shaking hand. I sing very quietly as well as belting it out briefly. I have time to think. Shaking with nerves on the first song, creates a lovely tremolo effect. Hmm, always struggled with a tremolo in the past! By the second song , I was calmer..time to think. It was playful. Trying not to move around to much, it's a distraction. By the third song, I lose focus slightly, fluff some words, I still had time to think, corrected myself, recovered. Not quite as dynamic in the last song, but wow to be heard by a room-full of listeners, with no mic, it's possible and a delight! Thank you Words and Women.

blurring fact and fiction

So I put myself in the zone for creating/making/writing, to increase input of images, words and sounds. First off to listen to tracks by The Fall because all my co-music-makers have been heavily influence by the band and they kind of are there in my consciousness, but I never knew what they were. so I listen and it's all so familiar, jaunty, off-kilter, repartition, quirky, weird... all the words that have been thrown our way in reviews.. I did sing at a Fall album night, Damo Suzuki, I have a connection with that song, not out of choice, but because I was asked to sing it. That feels a bit lazy, but it's true. The line ' what's that in your paper bag' is great to sing and I will try and repeat the experience of such a line. So I look-listen, easier to find songs on Youtube...grrr... ahhh the half listen... grrr... anyhow, in my half listen, I can see the ladies that Mark E Smith chooses to play tortuous repetitive guitar lines for him. They look really cool, I want to play guitar for all the wrong reasons after watching them. Then I listen to the Yeah yeah Yeahs and I still have a gut reaction of excitement and wonder and pure joy at their melodic fuzz growling guitars... mmmm Y Control pushes my buttons. Then in between sounds I finish reading a strange book leant to me called 'Train Dreams' by Denis Johnson. I wont explain it because it sounds crap in literal description, other-worldly, folks living amongst loneliness, their loud inner voice and some dream-like visions which have a larger impact than reality. Also reading Of Walking In Ice by Werner Herzog, he is a film maker of great note and the book is like a rush of images, again of loneliness, but this time walking across Germany and France, a pilgrimage to a dying friend, he thinks if he walks to see her, it will prolong her life, he writes mostly about the rain and the agony of his feet. He again slips into dream-like states where reality and fact blur. Then I walk into town to get some air: to Waterstones, find Simon Armitage on the shelf.. and read his poems.. I realise that my b-line for inspiration, Mark E Smith and Simon Armitage, both have comforting northern accents but very dark thoughts. I laugh and shudder at Armitage and head back home. I bump into an old friend, an archiologist we call Ghost, we talk about Vikings, he tells me that viking is a verb, and how viking bodies were in fertiliser sacks on the top floor of 'The Garage' in Norwich, not any more though. Back at home, I read more book, then watch the start of One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. The doctor who first interviews Jack Nicholson, is very good, a very good doctor, then it goes bad. The music is key. I have thoughts of the Small Animal Hospital in Edinburgh and I think about routines, procedures, sterile environments, smells, fear. I was reflecting on my inputs of the day and trying to talk to a friend about a story and I found I was confused by what was real and what was fiction. Perfect.

Summerhall says YES!

We have been formally invited to perform at one of the most exciting venues of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, Summerhall. I am extremely excited and frightened all in one. Which is, I believe, good! We are indebted to our colleagues whose experience we have listened to and advice heeded. This is just one step closer to taking Klang Haus to Edinburgh, we now have to raise stoopid amounts of funds...but we have some great rocket fuel! Small Animal Hospital Here we come!!

Lost it

So, I gathered my composure and headed into the mutiny.... to find.... it not really there. There is no truth, just one's own interpretation of the truth. My truth and your truth are different. All I had to go on were my feelings. Feelings of betrayal. Unprofessional, unkind, bullying and sneaky. Those were my accusations... then, I lost it. I lost my temper in an explosive way... I thought my ears were gonna burst. My colleagues saw how hurt I felt, they delivered their defense... we shouted, we reassured, we thrashed it out. More work to be done but it's moved... moved from a stalemate, from whispers... moved to clearer understanding...not yet resolved, but better. I felt so alarmed and shocked by my outburst, all I wanted to do was have a bath.... yesterday when I received news of the 'mutiny' I washed my feet. What strange animals we are.

Mutiny

A new challenge has landed on my plate. I don't know how to proceed, but I am incredibly nervous of whipping up a storm. My earn money job has hit turmoil. As manager, the staff have mutinied against me. A bitter pill, as we are all friends, I laugh hollowly at the phrase. "it's lonely at the top." I'm going to try and document the process as it may be useful reading in the future.

Meeting myself

This is one of the earlier Neutrinos songs...I had forgotten it existed... listening to it last week, each verse was like meeting yourself/myself... not the content....the actual voice....it's me....but with none of the same skin...if you catch my meaning on shedding skin cells, replacing blood cells, aren't we nearly new beings every 7 years... apart from the hard stuff like teeth n bones? To re-meet oneself is a privileged and it's partly because my memory is bad that I can enjoy the unexpected quality of hearing something for the first time, twice.

Grounding oneself whilst everything else flies away...

Venues are promised and then disappear. Or might disappear. This year for some reason, I know that I will make plans and those plans will dramatically change... it is inevitable..pushing ones head above the parapet, doing a financially risky show... so to anchor myself, I'm gonna concentrate some time on singing. For Edinburgh, I am intending on singing 2 shows a day for 20 days, with a few days off along the way. How do I keep my voice strong...? First up an exercise called messa di voce... long notes , no tension in the throat, crescendo in the middle.

Edinburgh smells great.

Up at 4.20am... dark...collected Steve, our guide and trusted friend and colleague...drove to Stansted in pouring rain. We take off into the sky and watch the moon. Approaching Edinburgh the Forth bridges appear, like toys.....not real. We land. Edinburgh smells good. Fuel, rubber, perfumes, I'm hit by loads of new versions of smells. First stop is the Festival Fringe office...fresh paint smell, new carpet, delicious tea...new water..different cows. Barry and Kevin are warm and helpful. we watch their minds' eyes scan the city for a potential KlangHaus. We leave with lots of leads. Next stop Craggs Sports Hall... a place we could convert into a KlangHaus.... we disappear off and find the enormous basketball hall. we stand in the darkness and shout and gurgle and sing...it sounds like a giant's cave. Simon with a strong New Zealand accent shows us round. Perhaps we could perform in this cupboard... It's not right, but it smells good in here. We thank him warmly and leave. We are starving....next stop is Summerhall and we need to make a good impression. We eat bakery stuff and head to Summerhall cafe. Rupert Thomson the Artistic Director of Summerhall will chat with us but he is busy talking to other folks... We drink coffee. Rupert joins us and is warm, friendly, interested, we speak with excitement and plonk the Butcher book in his hands and give him 3d viewers to show in seconds how we respond to buildings... He invites us to a tour of Summerhall. The smells, old university building, autopsy rooms, ancient looking lecture theatres, wooden, curved, with a drain in the middle for bloods. room after room ...bone library attic, we need access..lifts or ramps... There is one place I think you will like.... The Small Animal Hospital... During the tour which was thorough and extensive, we had been wowed, we exclaimed at details, sinks, gas pipes, in the Small Animal Hospital, I was reduced to yelps of joy, surprise and wonder... What about access, we need easy access for folks with mobility issues.... what about this lift... a lift leading through a tunnel, which is actually a bridge and looks like something from Doctor Who!!! okay, that will do fine! Soon we moved on and Rupert had to leave us.. we then went to the cafe ...ate haggis and neeps and tatties.. and met a great resident photographer called Pete and his dog Jack. I was in a whirlwind and in heaven from the tour and having a grand ole sugar hit from my veggie haggis and mashes... a moment to cherish... Pete took us on more tours, we saw his photography studio and more rooms..Jack the greyhound/lurcher type fellow came with us... you know how sometimes pets know stuff, they look like they can talk but just choose not to, that was Jack. Finally we had to move on, we explored the immediate area for suitable buildings where we could set a KlangHaus nearby and affiliate to Summerhall, in the event that we couldn't use the Small Animal Hospital. The sun shone and Edinburgh looked magnificent. We found garages and disused houses, made notes... we got our barings...

Keep talking...be prepared to fail.

Talk talk talk talk...explain connect ask... keep asking. Had a great conversation with a woman at Edinburgh City Council re buildings... honest...open...enquiring...helpful....calm. Spoke to friend Dot Howard, who has done shows at Edinburgh for the past two years. Today I will speak to folks from Sound House and Edinburgh University. Keep talking, keep doing the detective work. Keep looking, but mainly keep talking. I had a moment last night as I explained my days findings... I had a moment where I remembered how it felt to find The Funkhaus for the Butcher project... keep asking and the leads start to point in the same direction. Be prepared to fail.

Run Like Hell

I have to keep reminding myself that being paralysed by fear at the task ahead, is not helpful and a fantastic bit of imagination on my part. We need a house in Edinburgh, large enough for us to perform in, live in, we need to be able to safely accommodate 10-20 audience members and we will be 7 or so living there. We need permissions, licences to perform, we need good neighbours to negotiate our noise levels with them. We don't need to play loud late at night, our shows can be afternoon and early evening. So to move this thing ahead, all I need to do is a list of tasks...phone calls and conversations. I am not a criminal, I have done nothing wrong, I 'm not a sniveling idiot, I just need to talk to people, to ask people questions in order to find a house. Glad I'm understanding this. Being a frightened rabbit is uhelpful and a bit tiring!

The tides are turning

A lead, one with spirals of links to folks we know... A house in Edinburgh that has been a hypothetical music venue, run by people passionate about having a place to play live music on their own terms. Intimate. It has been asked to stop doing what it does by Edinburgh City Council..... I'll talk to people... Shut doors and tangents..keep talking Reilly , keep talking

10..9..8..7..6

The countdown , the deadline... 10 days before our funding application has to be in for financial support to get to Edinburgh. we travelled to Colchester yesterday for a meeting with the wonderful producer Kate Harvey...you remember Dinning With Alice, Walking.. she was one of the main folks making them happen, even if you don't like massive outdoor theatre...it's an amazing feat to have a job where you make fun things happen for pleasure and enjoyment of others....just a thought....so, the funding application.. a combination of hoop jumping and small boxes to make you really think about what you are actually trying to do! Reality strikes. Kate was good on advice... just to say that the people reading the applications have loads to read in a week, so use the return key to make lots a space between sentences... I like this simple advice. Also good on over-looked stuff like cost of licences for a non venue show. Still my biggest mountain is finding a house, with a wide frontdoor on pavement level.. where we can take over, make a noise and invite people in for two shows a day and live there.. I'm gonna telephone Edinburgh City Council.... wish me luck!