Last day of 2021 - music promo training begins...

 

Fear sits beside me..... coaching reflections....

 Thank you to Jo Heeson for insightful and rock solid coaching....special skills!

Solstice thoughts...

 

Day of the gig.... a week later...

 

Two days before the gig....

 

Time Away/Off/out

 

Where is the JOY?

 

Changing unhelpful feelings

 

Tying up loose ends...

 

Back from COP...

 

Glasgow From Day 1- to Day 5

 

Packing for COP26

 

Forgiving Mistakes..

 

Recce to Glasgow

 

Tickets on sale....

 

Human Hotel

 

Taking a step forward....

 

Barbican chats....

 

GFA....Kaboom...

 

Change in behaviour...

 

Forgotten how to socialise.....

 

A space to perform at COP26...

 

One Step back....

 

Funding for COP26 step forward..

 

Get a job...

 

Next steps to COP26

 

Knackered....Darkroom a success

 

Here we go for a week of shows!

 

Day 1 Get-In for Darkroom

 

Production week for Darkroom at Tyndall Centre

 

Day 6 MATRH - there's been a lot going on...

 

Day 5 MATRH at home

 

Day 3 Made At The Red House

 

Day 1 MATRH

 I’ve chosen my work areas... you know when you just know... the poly-tunnel and greenhouse please. 

Made at the Red House residency Day 1

 We’re in Suffolk near Aldeburgh and Snape on a residency called Made At The Red House....blinkin lucky to be here. 

job hunting...

 

A difficult place

 

Take things lightly...

 

Flexible route to the goal

 

Singing live again part two.

 

Singing live again....

 

Swimming in my own soup...

 More verbal note taking to keep on track of where I'm at with learning to be a producer... spreadsheets, gantt charts and swimming in my own soup. If I remember how much I cried with frustration on my degree and MA courses, I'm doing pretty well. No tantrums yet. However, I have forbidden myself from using a phrase after I used it yesterday, when we were trying to work our way around a problem and I said, 100% no. '100% no' is not a mindset I want to carry forward with, especially in the land of producing and enabling shows. It can only be used if for example Boris Johnson asked you on a date or asked you to vote for him..... I suppose even then it would need to be more like 120% no.

Dealing with the feeling: Learning to be a producer

 

Talking to myself yet again.. learning how to be a producer

27/06/21 today's producing thoughts....

 

Talking to myself again but feeling different

23/06/21 Feeling differently about my learning to be a producer journey.

 

Training to be a producer - talking to myself

I got a grant to learn to be a producer. I'm thrilled and astonished. I've been going through lots of feelings... Here are my not so good ones...20/06/21

 

Balls in the air still for COP26

 So hard to keep the steam going on this one. We were rejected by the Government for our application to COP26. Next conversations, find out how The Barn are getting on. A great partnership for future work. I spoke to Simone Stewart and they had just found out they were unsuccessful in their bid to become a COP26 Climate Beacon. Another route could be through the Tyndall Centre based in Norwich. Waiting to hear if they were successful in getting a pavilion at COP. I was introduced to an extraordinary curator who puts on art events at places like COP. She had just found out that she had been rejected through the UK government route to COP26. Rejection and closed doors is rife. Nothing to be ashamed of or knocked back by. Hannah, the curator recommended we maybe reduce the length of Darkroom to 5 minutes if were aiming to get delegates to see it. She talked of putting art in their way, 'they are so busy', she said. 'We had a giant island sculpture that we were encouraging delegates to help us carry above our heads to move, 'move islands of displaced people to other locations'. A great activity that got all those in suits moving and laughing at the awkwardness of it. Her plans to set up near the food area, were scuppered by being refused entry by security even though she had full permission to be there. By the time she got into the main room, the food had been eaten. Hannah said, have a Plan B, C, D and E. COPs love photo exhibitions, as people can pass by and absorb..... or just pass by. She said she would get invited onto panels and show photos that way, as part of the work of COP, rather than an added extra. Hannah queried whether we could be in the Wellbeing area, as a moment to replenish and reflect... we did think about this, but I could only make one bid for a pitch to be and I thought wellbeing might be a bit cheeky if we were playing full on tsunami sounds especially if folks were traumatised or knackered, we might make things worse. 

So my balls are all still in the air, waiting to see what the next move might be and trying to follow all leads before time runs out. Before time runs out to apply for funding, but I can't apply for funding if we don't know how or what are able to do. 

I am calm though, you can only try your best, push but don't force. Keep alert, keep agile, be prepared to change plans, artworks, location, personnel. In the end, for us the work, the piece, the message is the most valuable component and the work, if it's meaningful and good it will live on beyond any clamour around a COP.

Glasgow, long lunches, evening drinks and late night lock-ins all postponed.

 

I’ve just returned from The Highlands of Scotland…serendipity took me on a paid singing job to Brora north of Inverness and for such a long journey and being with the KlangHaus collective, we decide to rent a cottage and do some planning and scoot over to Glasgow for COP26 chats with partners venues. The cottage was near enough to a possible partner venue The Barn in Banchory near Aberdeen. We met with artists and academics who we have been speaking to on zoom for over 9 months. Seeing them in the flesh was extraordinary. A new life experience of forging bonds through work purely online and then meeting people, it was emotional. Everyone looked more beautiful and feeling their energy was intoxicating.

Scotland had bathed us in sun and dramatic skies until we headed south to The Barn, where the initial mizzle gave way to torrential downpours. Apparently the rain style has changed from soft constant drizzly rain to harsh downpours and then sun. We talked and talked for hours. The Barn has a solid, bonded community. I’m learning more and more that art can flourish outside of the metropolis in interesting ways. Lockdown has shone a light on the richness within our own local community. We have for so long been seduced into desiring far-off lands and robust cities, but it only takes a shift in behaviour to see the value in other ways of being. I’m hoping this will be reflected in our climate problem…a shift in ways of being.

On my arrival to Scotland, Glasgow was making headlines. A community revolt involving sheltering two men who were going to be deported. The police had to change tactics and set the two men free because of community power and pressure, amazing. Then news of awful sectarian riots dressed up as football rivalry. It slowly emerged over the next couple of days that Glasgow was to remain in Tier 3 lockdown. As we gazed across the Murray Firth our dreams of visiting Glasgow faded. We were planning to travel on public transport to get to and around Glasgow, we would potentially be spreading the new variant around amongst our colleagues in Glasgow and then bring it back to Norfolk. With a heavy heart we cancelled all our meetings in Glasgow, long lunches, evening drinks and late night lock-ins all postponed. We even had a site visit arranged of a possible COP venue, the planetarium, gutted.

This is a photo of Joker, a little cat that would join you whenever you took in the stunning view opposite the cottage we were staying in, in Boddam, near Peterhead. She used to live next door, when her owners left and sold up, she stayed, sassy! She looks well fed and content...a happy free spirit. 

As 3/4 of KlangHaus we spent several days in the cottage planning and thinking....a real treat.... definitely go somewhere breathtaking to do some big thinking and some boring business planning, haha.

Glasgow, we will return!

Winter Lockdown....

 What a journey, like an obstacle course. Two rejected funding applications last week, allowed myself a small sulk before brushing off my knees and getting on with things. I’ve stumbled across Embedded Artists, I want to be one because I’m kind of doing it with my vertical farm project and I love it. Talking with folks who speak a different language and who get excited by things that are just part of your normal everyday thoughts. Talking to people who speak a different language and listening and deciphering and aiming to be gentle. I hate the stereo-type of the fiery artist, because I’m not one, but I seem to keep being one…weird.

I’m asking venues for help, space to work and I’m happy to fundraise to pay for the space. The venues I want help from can’t spare the brainpower capacity to think about helping us. Frustrating. What’s disappointing is that the conversations are stopping there, I can’t seem to keep the door open to see if we can be self-sufficient. We are used to looking after ourselves. It feels like the stress of Covid and no income is showing for institutions.

The show for COP26. Is it real? Currently it feels like something I’m pretending to do. The Government application is in, we’ll find out in May. In the meantime I’m trying to garner partners to support the show and be ready to host the show if the Gov say no. That’s real isn’t it, yes. Keep going Reils.

Easter always puts the breaks on communication, perhaps that’s why I find it tiresome, but it’s also the anniversary of my Dad’s death, Easter Saturday or April 10th, so it’s a time for reflection and a reminder to get on with stuff before it’s soil time.

I hope I make good soil, I attended a zoom about soil, it’s brilliantly complex stuff. I didn’t realise that when, say, a carrot grows, the bacteria in the soil move towards the carrot to eat it’s sugars and then the bacteria make other stuff that the carrot needs and then bigger things come along, protozoa and tardigrades and they eat the carrot sugars and make stuff the carrot needs and so on and so forth.

Nature is clever and amazing, animals are clever and amazing, we humans think we are so clever but we are on a mission to self destruct so we aint that clever. ‘Seaspiracy’, whoosh, that’s fish off my diet…bugger. I’m keeping cheese… please let cheese be okay.

The Journey to CoP26 Continues

 

It’s now 3 years of chat about getting to CoP in some shape or form. Even though the thought of advocating 30,000 delegates flying in from around the world to this conference is insane, mixed feelings, but for now the journey into ideas is continuing…

Can we cut through the red tape of finding a venue and go sustainable airship? I approached Airlander H.A.V based in Bedford, firstly to see if it’s possible to project from the inside of the hull ( balloon bit)… Yes… I’d mentioned CoP26 in my email and they want to go to CoP, but have no prototype or any ship we could use until 2025. ‘Try Zeppelin’, they kindly said. It’s on tomorrow’s list.
Meanwhile the potency of our show Dark Room has been resonating and we started thinking… being in complete darkness allows the audience to make the art for themselves, have feelings conjured from within. Taking away a sense can be powerful ( I know you know that, I’m talking to myself) could this be the show for CoP26 with the mannequin choir making an appearance. Hmmm things are starting to make sense.

How to make a room dark

 Notes for my future self. Use layers of materials on the windows. Step one was foil. I had bought some extra thick foil a few weeks before but ended up using it during cooking and was left with the inferior stuff. Not fit for purpose really. A good roll of low-tack fabric-style gaffa tape, not only saves the window surround paint work but is a pleasure to use.

Next I cut polystyrene to size, obviously I'm not a fan of the stuff, but we had a package delivered that had  lots of it in, perfect for the moment.

Then because I was projecting on that wall, some very thick white paper. 

Then on the other side of the window, outside,  a huge tarpaulin clipped to the window frame. We started the shows on the shortest day of the year for maximum darkness. The first show was at 1pm. This didn't feel so dark, but by 2.30pm it was pitch! Audience comments included 'it was dark, then it seemed to get darker'. 

We made sure people started off in a very bright room, as it was nearly Christmas, we used tonnes of fairy lights. They walk into the room, are sat down, shown the safety light and plunged into darkness.

Folks were brought back into the light gently by my lovely companion, the slide projector. They found themselves in a darkroom. Which gave us all the idea to do a KlangHaus in a photographic darkroom in the future.... ooo... pictures emerging from the dark, the smell of chemicals, sounds whizzing round, red lights, shadows.

Here is one reaction that made me glow...

Dark Room : Listen In

 

How could I have not written about this until now? Today would have been the last day of 200 shows in our house. One audience member at a time, in complete darkness for 10 minutes listening. It had a couple of surprise live elements and some sensations, haha. No one was ever touched, a big fear for the incoming audient. Covid-safe with people wearing masks, us sanitising the armchair they sat in during the show. We opened doors, kept our distance, closed doors. It was safe but on Dec 26th, day 5 of shows, Tier 4 came into play and all non-essential business was halted due to the pandemic and a second more contagious strain of the virus doing the rounds. We had performed 80 shows. It was an impactful, emotive show. The darkness was the star. I was in the dark room for safety and for crawling about doing stuff. I emerged on Christmas Day pale and broken with fatigue. More thoughts soon